Posts tagged ‘sacrifice’

February 10, 2011

Marriage is not overrated people!

In honor of Valentine’s Day coming up on Monday, I want to dedicate a post to my awesome husband and our marriage. This may be a little early, but I love the dude and want to let the world know that I feel that way all the time not just on a holiday.

Marriage is NOT overrated – it is the Seriously, whether you’re walking with God or not, marriage rocks. I know there’s a whole mentality out there these days that marriage a sham. I say this with all seriousness and conviction: Marriages are a sham because those people treat it like a sham. They don’t believe it. They don’t enter marriage with the attitude that there is no easy way out and they believe that it will be all fun and sunshine and lots of sex.

The reality is that marriage is  a lot of work. A lot. I can’t express how much “work” it really is. I put work in quotations because it’s not the work you think you’ll have to do. Things like compromising, or learning to share a bathroom. It’s working on putting my husband ahead of me all the time. I have to daily make an effort to honor my hubby by doing and saying things that are for his benefit, not mine. Things like telling him I really appreciate how he takes care of our house and makes sure our vehicles running. And doing things like doing the dishes for him even though it’s his turn. Why do I do those things? Why wouldn’t I? If I love him more than I love myself, so why shouldn’t I express that through my actions and words?

That’s the key problem for most marriages that fail, I think. (Now I am no expert, this is purely observation and late night musings, so if I offend I apologize in advance) The reasons marriage fail ultimately is that the people who entered the marriage are too selfish. Plain and simple as that. You can list “irreconcilable differences” as the reason for divorcing. What does that even mean? To me that means that someone couldn’t look past their own wants to see how they could honor and love their spouse. Marriage is not about “What can you do for me?” it’s all about “What can I do for you?” Marriage is not overrated – it’s the most pure and beautiful and intimate thing that God has created for us. I married my best friend and can’t imagine not being with them. Do I view my marriage as perfect and am I happy with it always? Hell to the no. But I’m still committed and I still want to put my hubby’s needs before my own. I want to honor him the same way he honors me by sacrificing my wants and needs for his. Do I fail at this? Yes. Does he fail at this? Yes. Does it mean either one of us is entitled to get mad and accuse the other? No (however, this does happen unfortunately).

The point I’m trying to make is that despite my short comings and my husbands, we are both 100% committed to making our marriage last. No matter the personal cost, financial cost, anything. The order of things I love descend in this order: God, my husband, my family, my friends, myself. It should be that way. Is being married probably the one relationship I’ll put the most work into? Definitely. But it also has the greatest rewards. Nothing I gain for myself will be as good as what I receive in my marriage.

Why do I love my husband? Because he’s my best friend and I honestly do not know what I would do with myself if something happened to him. Those that know us could describe us as the matching halves to a whole. He is my yin to my yang (cheesy, I know). I love how funny he is and how his light, carefree attitude helps my serious, negative attitude lighten up a bit. I love how he’s always in a good mood and how he spends most of his day just trying to make me laugh. I love how he looks at me, I love how he talks to me. I love that we can sit in silence and be comfortable with it. I love the look on his face when he gets caught doing something I asked him not to, ha! I love how he’s taller than me and I love how he loves cars (even though I dislike the cars sometimes). I love how he’s passionate about what he believes in and he stands for his beliefs no matter the cost. I love his confidence and that he’ll call the phone company for me to tell them I’m not satisfied with my current plan.  I love his eyes and the way he always holds my hand on his knee when we drive together. I love all of him, even the flaws and the parts that really, really annoy me. But the reason I love him most of all is because he loves me. Despite my flaws and my imperfections, he chose me =) How undeserving I am.

And that, is why marriage is not overrated.

Real gold fears no fire,

Torrie xoxo